Pakinam Lights

Jun

Revenge is a dish …

… best served scented with wildwood flower.

I have finally found a way to conquer and scare my Shifu: my oh-so-very-soft-fragrant-and-feminine perfume bottle.

He came to pick me up from my room this morning so we can run an errand outside of school together, and he sniggered at me for letting him wait for a few seconds so I could wear some perfume before I left my room. He muttered, “Ugh, girls.”

It was an opportune moment. Inspiration hit, and something inside my mind twinkled.

He was standing a few steps away from me. A smile slowly crept on my face.

I whipped my perfume bottle out, and started spraying it all over him, on his arms, and on his clothes. He leapt away from me in shock (men are so goddamn feeble sometimes!) and shouted that he didn’t want to “smell like a woman” during training.

But alas, I was on a roll. I chased him out of my room and down the hall with the bottle in hand. And what do you know, it doesn’t matter how many Shaolin Kung Fu forms you know, you can’t battle rose-scented dew as it permeates the air around you.

The power of spray bottles is absolute.

Girls have their weapons too, and next time I’m not holding back. I have a full arsenal: silk flower pins that I can sneakily pin to his shirt before training, body splashes, nail polish, and … lip … gloss.

[Yes, I’m evil]

But in all honesty, I thought wildwood flower smelled nice on him.

May

The surreal moment when a classmate asks you “Would you like to come along and help me buy a new sword, I lost mine yesterday,” and instead of pondering the weirdness of it all, you think, “How could you lose your sword?! I never lose anything!

—

It’s also amazing how easily I can now incorporate Kung Fu terms in casual talk.

“I love your pants, they’re very Shaolin.”

“What are you up to? … I’ll just Chi Kung for a bit, skype with a friend, then sleep.”

“Oh, the Chi of my phone is dying.”

I picked up that last one from my Kung Fu master, who refers to all kinds of energy or charge as Chi. “Computer Chi.” “Phone Chi.” “My Chi is low this morning.” And he once told me, after I was expressing frustration about something, “Ok, Ok, first breathe. Balance Chi. Nothing is a problem. Just take Chi in.” (I was livid at the time, and I felt like punching him. But in retrospect, I feel grateful. Because I did find a solution once I calmed down and started breathing).

I gotta say though, the new vocab is refreshing.

1 note Shaolin humor /

Apr

Here’s a challenge for you: Can you guess the ages of the two boys in this video? They’re from my group.

We don’t study this Sanda-style boxing, but the kids in my group are fascinated by it (since the group next to us trains in Sanda), so my Sifu just wanted to let them take a stab at it. As you can see, they were absolutely terrible, too afraid to attack each other and everyone was laughing at them, including the Sifu.

It’s a fun video, so I thought of sharing it. At some point, you can hear me laughing too.

ساعات باحس إن الشيفو بتاعي بيدرب قرود مش بني أدمين. خاصةً إن في عيال بتدخل مدارس الشاولين كونج فو ديه بالعافية. أهاليهم بيجبروهم و بيقضوا صيف، شتا في المدرسة من غير اجازت بس ديه حكاية تانية حاحكيها في بوست تاني.

Shaolin humor /